I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
