Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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