some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
