i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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