question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I need to wash the frat house off of me
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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