This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
