4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
