Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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