I like to think it a success when the cops are called
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
