I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
