Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
