The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
