I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
