I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
