she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
