My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
