dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
