Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
