I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
