Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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