i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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