I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
