I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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