GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
