suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's rum buckets o'clock
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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