I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
