worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize