I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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