Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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