I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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