It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
