Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Randomize
