look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
