Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
