my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
