Your mouth is God's brothel.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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