are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
