My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
there is puke in my bra ... again
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