My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
