Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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