Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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