How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
