Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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