Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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