whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
