Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
