I think I can smell my own vagina right now
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
