Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
