I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
