I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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