sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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