I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
