The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
