May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
