yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I haven't been this sober since birth.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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