yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
if only i could text you this smell
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
