they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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