just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Vodka?
Forever.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize